Ksenia Anske

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Your New Year's Resolution: WRITE A BOOK

Photo by Ana Luisa Pinto

Welcome to 2015.

You just woke up. You're feeling the sodden pounding headache from consuming too much champagne the night before. You're scratching your head. What day is it? January 1st of the new fucking year. What is it that you have promised everyone willing to listen? You will lose those stubborn extra 5 pounds? You will sign up at a local volunteer organization and, with a bounding heart, will help them take down lost armadillos from the blooming pine trees in the neighborhood? You will spend less time lolloping online and more time playing cricket with your distant relatives? Get a better education? Better job? Pay off your debt? Oh, wait. I know.

YOU WILL DRINK LESS ALCOHOL AND SMOKE LESS WEED??

Nope.

Nada.

Here is what you will do.

IN 2015 YOU WILL WRITE YOUR FIRST BOOK, BECAUSE I SAID SO.

Okay, maybe not the first, maybe it will be whatever number. But you will write a book. And if you set out to do exactly that, I have a set of blog posts to help you with it. On how to get started, and how to continue, how to edit, how to publish, and all that jazz.

  1. Take one day off and come up with a novel idea. Here is how.
  2. Now that you know what to write about, write your 1st draft in 20 days or less (if you're working full time, it will take longer). Here is how
  3. In order to be able to write your 1st draft this fast, write 4,000+ words a day. Here is how.
  4. Take 2 weeks off and start on your 2nd draft. Here is what to cut and what to keep.
  5. Write as many drafts as you need, to get the story solid. Here is how.
  6. Finish your damn book! Here is how.
  7. Self-publish it. Here is how and here is where and here is how much it will cost and here is WHY NOT TO FRET.

There. I have set you up. Go ahead and announce your commitment to writing a book in 2015 in the comments. Go ahead, do it. Have all the pandemonium break loose! The time is ticking! You're closer to death every minute! Your book won't write itself! And I hear it's hard to write when you're dead and in a casket and your fingers are black and curled up and won't move as easily as when you were alive!

GET ON IT!

I will always be here to support you.

*pours a shot of vodka*

Cheers! I'm drinking for your success. Share your book ideas, I want to hear them. And Happy New year, you lovely hamster.