Yo my loves, how is it going? So I have bad news and good news for you. I’ll start with the bad news.

March 17th for TUBE launch isn’t happening.

The deeper into Draft 8 I go, the more I realize that I don’t know squat about the structure of writing a novel. The more I try to force it out of me, the more I see that forcing won’t do squat either because I have to break my bad habits of just writing by the seat of my pants (journaling, which is how I started writing).

I can continue like this, but then the impact of the book simply won’t be where I want it to be. It’ll be another checkmark on my record (I wrote another book!) and it won’t sell. At least not as wide as I want it to be. So I’m going back to the basics to study structure and to start all over again. The beginning is there, but to continue I’ll have to slowly, carefully, measure my every step in considering every facet of structure (character arcs/POVs, multiple plot lines, scenes, transitions, and on and on).

This will take time.

Maybe six months. Maybe a year. Maybe six years.

I don’t know how long it will take me, but I won’t stop until I learn it. Part of this will be shrinking down my business side, all The Art of Selling and the teaching of selling stuff.

I’ll keep the Sales Tips newsletter going, and I'll slowly develop video class content, but I’ll stop seeking out new clients (but keep the old ones, who are wonderful...they let me eat their hearts). That means back to not making much money, or making just enough to have cash for book stock and to do the signing and the shipping and all that.

At the moment I’m operating on 4-5 hours of sleep a night, and I’m starting to break down. I can’t keep going like this. Something has to give. And since TUBE is my priority, everything else is what has to give. End of story.

The good news is, this will help me make TUBE into a book that’ll go far, and it’ll teach me to do the same with my other books.

As you know, I have 15 planned (The Dacha Murders, sequel to Rosehead, etc.), and if it means the next 30 years of my life to make them great, then that means I’ll leave behind 15 great stories as opposed to whatever number of mediocre ones.

Another bit of this good news is, this will teach me how to be a professional writer, how to bend my creative to plotting and balance the two to crank out great books. That’s all I ever wanted. My dream is to see my book on the big screen, ever since my very short movie Walking Past (a little over two minutes) was screened at SIFF (Seattle international Film Festival) years and years ago before a Russian movie about WWII, and I got hooked. I wanted to see my other stories on the screen too. One day I’ll get there.

To end this long tirade…

I’m so emotionally distraught about all this at the moment that I don’t quite know how to move forward. I’ll be taking baby steps. Phone and internet off every morning until 2, study study study then plot plot plot, then turn everything on, do the minimum I can get away with (emails and social media and so on), then phone and internet off again, and back to study, this time from reading novels or watching TV shows or movies. Then sleep. Then back to it the next morning. 

To those of you who pre-ordered TUBE, I’m terribly sorry about this long wait. I can tell you it’ll be worth it. I promise. If you can’t wait this long and want your money back, I understand. Just email me, and I’ll make it happen.

ONWARD.