There are a lot of hurt people in the world. When you write and publish your book, be ready for those people to push back on your story, sometimes quite violently. 

Know this: THEIR OPINION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU OR YOUR WRITING.

It’s tempting to think you did something wrong. You somehow wrote it wrong. 

You didn’t.

What you did was, you wrote your truth. That stirred up a painful something in those hurt people. And they pushed back in defense. 

It’s not your fault.

Now, don’t be tempted to answer, to engage in conversations, to reply to their reviews.

Repeat after me.

YOU CAN’T HELP THEM.

The push-back is a cry for help. You’re not in the position to help. Your job is to write another book. And another. And another. 

Here is what will happen if you try to help. Your head will get bitten off. It happened to me multiple times until I finally learned my lesson. Please learn on my mistakes and save yourself time and money and grief. It’s not worth it.

Focus on writing. Let them push back. It’s good for them. With time, it might open doors for them they haven’t seen before, and it might lead them to start taking care of themselves and to look for help, to heal.

Illustration by Roland Topor