Yesterday I caught myself on noticing how "I'll just check my phone real quick" turned into 30 minutes of lost time. I'm usually pretty diligent about sticking to the routine of DO NOT ENGAGE ONLINE UNTIL YOUR WORK IS DONE, but I'm only human so I slip. For some reason this particular slip really got under my skin. It was evening and I was so tired that I had no energy to exercise or to meditate. My day was packed and I hoped to combine the two into one biking session with my eyes closed. It didn't happen. I got upset. As a result, I didn't sleep well.
Meditating clears my mind. Without it it's like a bee drunk on vodka mixed with beer, buzzing around and around and around my skull until I want to drive my head through the wall and be no more (in other words, slide down the wall into a brainless bloody morass). I thought checking my phone would only take a few minutes. Ha ha ha. When I glanced at the clock, I nearly dropped it. It wasn't a few minutes like I thought it would be. It was 30 fucking minutes. I have robbed myself of exercise, of mediation, and of a good night's sleep. So today, as I'm typing this, I'm not even going to look at what's happening on the sparkling internets until this post is done.
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