Yes, 2016 is the year of the Monkey. No, there are no monkeys in Russia (only in the zoo, munching on vodka-soaked bananas). Yes, in Russia everyone is obsessed with Zodiac shit and, in particular, with Chinese Zodiac Cycle shit, and yes I used to believe it too, in conjunction with divining fortune via playing cards and reading people's traits by their facial features (long nose means long dick and propensity for vigorous sex) and wearing gems that make your liver healthy and procuring mumiyo that is "mountain blood" or "mountain tears" that's supposed to heal anything and everything, and swallowing gold and reading your horoscope to predict your future (making fun of it in TUBE) and all kinds of stuff. Only shows you that if you have none of your own brain, you're eager to follow those who promise you they have some. Did I mention certain charlatans charged water over TV in Russia, making babushkas believe said water could cure their bunions and warts and heart palpitations? Anyway, I digress.

2015 in recap! Another year of writing went by!