At last, all your questions about the universe and its very source of discord will be answered. You are about to embark on the craziest thing the internets have ever seen, namely, a flash fiction chain story that has been born on Twitter and escalated into 20 writers willing to take part in and make Easter Bunny Apocalypse real! Oh, hold on to your whiskers! Oh, do not chew on your paws! Oh, keep your furry tails from twitching! The end is upon us, you are lucky to be the first in the know, because it will be brutal, oh yes, it will be bloody, oh, it will be administered with the utmost horror unlike you've seen or ever dared to dream about in your little miserable life. Are you ready? It's not the deadly ferrets, and not sirens, and not even bloody santas vs zombie sirens this time (the other 3 flash fiction frenzies that took place on my blog). No, this is much MUCH worse. Continue reading at your own risk, and don't tell me later I didn't warn you.
Please welcome our 1st author, Becky Flade, (aka @BeckyFlade) who, when she was little, didn’t know that not everybody had “stories” in their heads. Her parents flipped a coin to decide between anti-psychotics and a typewriter. Luckily for her, the coin landed on typewriter. She's been doing this ever since.
Photo by Dirk Wüstenhagen
EASTER BUNNY APOCALYPSE
Chapter 1 by Becky Flade
“The humans have failed to heed the warnings. Our time has come.” A deafening chorus of roars erupted from the warriors assembled at his feet. Easter raised a four clawed paw; the simple gesture brought instant silence within the warren. “Before daybreak on the thirty-first day of the third month of this thirteenth year in the new millennium, they will know the price of their ignorance. Prepare your eggs.”
In the coming days he oversaw rabbits of all shapes and sizes preparing for battle. They bounced, they pounced, and they ate carrots by the bushel. Poisonous eggs were painted in pleasing pastel patterns; lethal licorice was twisted; and the candy was packaged in luring wrappings. Easter nodded his approval to a young recruit whom hurried away, whiskers twitching with pride.
The young bunny's eagerness pained him. Not all would survive the night. He’d lose friends and family alike in the coming battle; and he would be the one to lead them to their fate. But it was necessary. Since the dawn of man he had sat idly by and wept as the forests were destroyed and replaced with metal and concrete behemoths that suffocated the Earth. He had silently watched as humanity polluted the land, the rivers, and the air. Mother Nature had done her best to warn them, in her way, that they had gone too far. But to no avail. It was time for the bunnies, the Earth’s last line of defense, to take up the mantle.
Just after dusk on the day of reckoning, Easter donned his black leather duster making sure his tail was snuggly tucked through the hole before streaking dark purple war symbols, old as time itself, across each cheek, and strode out to address the troops one last time. The hedgehogs, mice, and other servants bowed in hushed respect as he passed them. He had repealed that law when he had ascended an eon ago. While it had pleased his father to be treated as such, it was an affectation he hadn’t needed. Easter understood why, on this day, they felt the need to resume the old custom. He wasn’t sure he would return on the morrow, either.
Countless rabbits descended on the globe that night; each carried a basket, gaily decorated so as to not arouse suspicion should they be discovered, full to brimming with eggs equally dressed and candy wrapped in sparkly ribbons. They scurried over the earth; high and low, through farmland and cities, they left their dainty, disguised weapons hidden in plain sight. Daybreak saw a weary army’s return. Not everyone had made it. Easter called to his adjunct, wanting a list of the warriors whom hadn’t made it home.
“Mr. Easter Bunny, sir? Do you think it will work?” the lieutenant asked.
“I have no doubt, Peter. The gluttonous bastards will eat every last bit.”
P.S.: This is the 1st Chapter of EASTER BUNNY APOCALYPSE. The 2nd Chapter will be published tomorrow. And so, every day, you will be getting closer to your imminent furry end. Hold on to your whiskers and cover your face with your ears!