Happy 2015!!! 2014 in review. And what's coming. And stuff.

Happy Fucking New Year, you gentle dandelions!

I'm shamelessly stealing the idea of a year in review picture you see above from Chuck Wendig, so all complaints to him. Let me titivate myself here in front of a mirror, so I look presentable, get naked, don my tutu, and tell you about 2014, which was the 2nd year of my full-time writing career, which, miraculously, I'm able to pull off financially while giving my books away for free AND making money, which is astounding, which, I suspect, will be the reason that you will beat me up, that is, if I say "which" one more time. Which.

Hahaha!

WHICH.

You can't catch me!
*runs off*
*slips on a banana peel*
*drops*
*breaks skull*

Okay, I'm alive, I'm alive. Because I have a story to tell you, and I'll tell you this damn story whether I'm alive or dead. Because so many great things happened in 2014. Also, some sad things happened that I wish didn't happen, but then life is a bitch, it doesn't ask you want you want it to serve on a silver platter, it ambushes you with a blunt hammer and then sits and watches you stumble around with blood dripping down your face. I know! I will stop with the blood and start with the stuff.

*looks at you all puppy-eyed* 

STUFF THAT HAPPENED IN 2014

• I managed to coax Chuck Wendig into guest-posting on my blog about WHY HE DOESN'T WRITE GUEST BLOG POSTS. Read it, it's hysterical, and it will give you a permagrin for the rest of the day.
• I did a massive clean-up of my Twitter, dropping 43K accounts. Why? I couldn't physically read all that stuff, and it was for numbers anyway, so not honest. The whole thing caused an upheaval. As a result of this, though, I'm having more meaningful conversations with people and don't have the whole numbers anxiety anymore. You know, OMG, how many people followed me? How many dropped me? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. (Well, maybe a little, but don't tell anyone.)
• I read 50+ books this year and plan to double my reading time and chomp through 100+ next year, thanks to switching my routine. Now I write before bloody checking Twitter and other social media vats of steaming...er, of glittering goodness.
• IRKADURA was published this year, my 3rd story (counting Siren Suicides as 1) and my 5th fiction book. It's selling pretty well.
• Which brings me to... *drumroll* ...ROSEHEAD was published this year in April! It has been read over 120K times on Wattpad, and I have finally (after pressure from readers) committed to writing DOGWOOD, its sequel. Only first I'll write 6 other novels, so it'll take a couple years.
• I got a ghostwriting gig for an awesome marketing blog The Green Ants started by a marketing genius Stijn Henrikse. This money helped me survive big time. Curiously, it was this blog post that landed me the job. So, to all of you doubting writers, GET ON THE BLOGGING BANDWAGON ALREADY. If this is not reason enough for you, I don't know what is.
• I have won the Amtrak residency!!!! I'm fucking beyond myself! Me? Out of 16,000+ applicants?? Pinch me, pinch me. I get to go on a train and write a book about a ballerina-eating train. So there.
• I did a Mad Tutu Writing Competition on my blog. Might do this again in 2015 if there is enough interest, so let me know in comments.
• Darling Fuzzy Hedgehog Press people pulled me out of my cave and catapulted me to SpoCon and OryCon where I have steadily sold out of all books. Thank you!
• I GOT TO MEET AMANDA PALMER SHE STAYED AT MY HOUSE I FED HER BORSCHT WE WERE ON STAGE AT SEATTLE'S TOWN HALL AND I WAS WEARING A PINK TUTU AND YEAH. 
• Stephen King answered my tweet.
• My book got sold at a real bookstore and I had my very first book reading at Third Place Books and 30+ people showed up! 1 hour long video of it here.
• My beloved editor Colleen Albert is taking 2015 off to focus on personal matters, and I'm very saddened by this, but I'm also thrilled to introduce you to my new editor, Sarah Liu. She has previously edited Sara King's novels, and now she'll make my novels super-pretty for you.
• My daughter's apartment was broken into and a bunch of stuff was stolen, and YOU amazing people donated over $1K to help her recover the loss. THANK YOU.
• My boyfriend's daughter Josey had to go to a drug treatment facility to help her beat her addiction. Thank you all for warm words and support.

STUFF THAT WILL HAPPEN IN 2015

• CORNERS will be published sometime in April or so, a book (and a parody) about 4 kids jumping in and out of 25 books (some of which are not in public domain, so, parody).
• TUBE will be published close to the end of 2015, or something, the novel about Bolshoi ballerinas mysteriously disappearing in the train car number 5. One. By. One.
• BLUE SPARROW 2, a little book of my tweets on writing illustrated by a local northwest artist Jeff Bergstrand, is coming around spring. Jeff is doing this for free, so I plan to raise money for him. I can safely say it here because he is hardly online. It'll be a nice surprise!
• SIREN SUICIDES will be cut down by 2/3 and republished as one book! Watch out for announcements.
• After TUBE I'll start writing JANNA, a book about a black woman serial killer. Not a happy story. The main character was originally going to be white, but this conversation (scroll down to comments) with a fellow writer Janna G. Noelle has inspired me to make her black. And perhaps I'll make public 172 blog posts that are hidden right now, posts I wrote from 2010 to 2012 while recovering from depression due to dealing with my sexual abuse memories that resurfaced after a visit to Russia.
• Patreon. This is the year when I will finally launch it, as you guys suggested it being the best crowdfunding option for me. My ghostwriting money is running out around summer 2015, and I don't know whether or not I'll be doing more, or if my sales will pick up, so I'll try this route to keep writing full time for YOU.
• I get to travel! 
  • 1/31 Auntie's Books in Spokane, WA, are inviting me to do a ROSEHEAD reading.
  • 2/13-15 RadCon in Tri-Cities, WA, asked me to speak on a panel, so I'll do that, and I'll also have a table there and harass people to buy my books.
  • 3/18-20 Chicago, get your couches ready. (Jacquelyn Delcamp has already offered hers―thank you!). I stop for 2 days here on my Amtrak adventure.
  • 3/23-25 LA, another Amtrak stop, to visit my daughter in Orange, CA.
  • 3/28-29 Chicago stop on the way back to Seattle. Couch needed, again.  

That's it! The rest of the year is open. 

Share, share, monkeys. What wonderful or not so wonderful things happened to you in 2014? What do you plan to do in 2015? What do you want to see me do in 2015? More tutu dances? Silly pictures? Go ahead. Don't be shy. I will send you a Soviet tractor.