You've all seen me raving about Ello this and Ello that in the last couple of days, I'm sure. Many of you are asking, "What the fuck is this thing?" and "How do I get an invite?" and "I'm in but it's all confusing and white and I'm lost like a sacrificial lamb!" and "My brain is turning vitriol blue from this eye that is staring at me and where is the "like" button and, oops, I just deleted my post, and..." Bla-bla-bla. Yeah, yeah, I get it.

I am the queen of Ello already and I will share with you the secrets of my dominion.

BOW TO ME.

KISS MY HAND.

Okay, okay, not really. I'm still trying to figure out this thing myself, but I can tell you that several days in a row now I'm spending time there instead of writing. I mean, I'm writing too, but only after I have forced myself to polish one hundred samovars with a bundle of old torn stockings with fierce optimism. And stuff. 

It is really hard to unglue!

Why?

Here is why.